No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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