So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
farters have to be the big spoon...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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