I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
