My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
