You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
