i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
