Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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