I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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