they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
