Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
