his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
