so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
