I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
