Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
