Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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