okay pat passed out under dana's car
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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