You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
