very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have demons in me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
being pregnant is like rehab
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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