woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
