So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He did a backflip because drugs
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