You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
