i permit you to call me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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