i just had sex bonerless
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
