you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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