Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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