i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
