I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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