The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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