and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
