He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
