So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
