youre lurking in front of me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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