we have officially lost it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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