I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
