He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
