Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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