SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
