I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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