hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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