Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
