i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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