please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
