nut hugger
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
love makes seman taste better
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
