Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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