so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
