u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
