The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
