my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
