Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
