Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
